Looking for Home

For 28 years now, I've been on a great search for home. I can't say I remember this search as I first pushed my way into the world. But I know that the first sense of home I ever felt was the cradle of my mother's arms. But mom's arms of today cannot be the home I am searching for now.

If you look closely at the world--at the lives orbiting in and around you--you will see an entire planet searching for home. Scan for a brief moment the cover of the magazines in the super market line. Vanity disguises itself as the home you are searching for. We want to be able to make a residence in our own skin, yet our own skin is no place like home. Yes, Dorothy was right: there's no place like home.

What is home? Have you ever bothered to think about it? Maybe not. If you are like me, you are caught up in the world-wind of trying to make every temporary thing home. Yet, the pursuit is always met with the craving of unsettledness. Your diving through clouds, hoping that one of them will catch you like a pillow of rest, but yet your still falling. You feed and feed and get more hungry and more sick until you have finally had enough. It is then that you realize that what you think you want is actually not the thing you really want at all.

Maybe home is simply not available to us right now. Maybe we have glimpses or feelings of home, but the place of fulfilled light is only a place of longing right now, not the destination. I have hope that our longing will be met with the beginning of complete wholeness when we finally arrive at a time yet to be.

Our "longing" is not bad or lustful; rather, it is a gift and a free one at that. Although I have been angry with God about the curse of the "longing," I've realized that the longing for my heavenly Dad (that, whom I refer to as "home") carries me to Him.

I don't have the "God in relationship with humans" thing all figured out, but I've come to understand that as I stay in a relationship (not a religion) with my Creator, the longing is loving in the natural sense and not irritating in the forced sense. We should not attempt to fulfill the longing by our human will, but rather be present with Him and allow the longing to sustain forward.

I know you've heard it before, but I want to say it again and again and again. God is longing for You because he LOVES you and he has placed in you a space to love Him. He enjoys you and likes you and he wants you to enjoy and like him, too. Above all, he wants to be your home. The longing he has placed in you is His way of inviting you to be with Him now, so he can welcome you home in the end.