Sponges

Whomever you hang around with consistently, whatever you indulge your being into regularly, you will no doubt be shaped by their influence eventually. We have been built to be influenced- shaped, twisted, molded, constructed, inspired- as though we are sponges. And the thing about sponges is that they not only absorb, but they must extract. What we understand about sponges is that if they only absorb and never extract, they will get heavier and most certainly crust into a hard, stiff, moldy entity glued to the place where they have been left. On the other hand, it is impossible for a sponge to only extract without absorption, right? How can you extract something when there is nothing there to extract in the first place?

The sponge analogy is simple and obvious, I know, but yet the sponge holds a deep meaning as to why humans are the way they are. Think about this for a second. People tend to either do a lot of absorbing or a lot of extracting but rarely, a balance of both. The most effective people (in a positive sense) have disciplined themselves enough to be both absorbers and extractors. Either way, there is revelation in all of this.

Absorbers, at their core, find it very easy to be inspired. They tend to be vulnerable enough to allow themselves to be moved by things like art, conversations, experiences, emotions, and the list goes on. In our wretched nature, we absorbers absorb the most unhealthy things. Being that I'm an extreme absorber, I find it easy to be lazy- to immerse myself in pleasure (pleasure is not necessarily bad, btw) and to fill myself up with the worship of women, the coveting of people who are really good at what I want to be good at, and shopping for more and more stuff. Without even much thought, I will spend hours watching Family Guy episodes on the internet while playing video games into the wee hours of the night. This is most likely me at my worst. I get lethargic and yet I can never get enough.

That, my friends, is absorbers.

On the other hand, extractors tend to be the ones who habitually try to inspire others through fully engaging the world. More often than not, they are go-getters, effective communicators, and spontaneous and adaptable to any circumstance. Although they have the pure intention of helping shape the world and are a voice to important causes, the most extreme extractors can be a really loud voice with very little substance or theology behind the words. An example of this my desire to perform music but my refusal to spend hours practicing and refining my craft. Because I am a guy who loves improvisation, I pride myself on making music on the spot (which I truly love) but many times it is an excuse so I don't have to take the time to be disciplined away from the spotlight. 

I think the point to all of this is that we've got to be aware of all sides of the sponge in our lives. And not only is the awareness key to it all, but more for the reality that we need to be a blessing to others. Of course, there are so many more details involved in our lives that play a factor in our abilities to absorb or extract, but more often than not, improving on what you lack involves steps of faith into unfamiliar territories. You've got to trust that if you open yourself up to be inspired, you will indeed be inspired. And if you push yourself to be an influence, you will be given the ability to be an effective influence in present situations. 

Hopefully you can see that the intentions of this blog are not a "how to guide" but rather thoughts to reflect on and hopefully an invitation to change. Only you will find your way (ok, God is somewhere in there, too) and none of us can copy the ways of others. But sometimes we just need to begin by moving forward.

       

Questions Out of Conflict

As the shape of the church re-invents itself in my thoughts, more revelations disturb me enough to discern what aspects of the church should be persevered and which ones need to fade into oblivion. This is an ocean of conflict for those who are in the same place as I am. No longer are we swimming against the tide of a lost culture… we are swimming against the tide of a misguided church.

Now, before you go any further, I want you to understand that this monologue is at its core, commentary for the journey within me and maybe within you. These thoughts represent the thoughts of those who swim in the ocean of conflict. Understand that harsh revelations, if guided right, lead to beautiful solutions. Sometimes the soil just needs to be unearthed, tended to, kneaded, and prepared for new creations. Now, for the unearthing process…

The problem is that a majority of the churches today are still attempting to walk in the footprints of the past, rather than making footprints of their own. Many will refuse to let go of old ways- methods that are outdated and ineffective in our present time- in order to figure out new ways to share the enormity of complete love, that love that has been invented and transcended by the pursuing and very present God. See, many Christians- those who make up the church- have not yet stood in the vulnerable impact of the crashing tides, where the waves of God’s sovereignty collide with the waves of culture’s brokenness. I would say that a majority of Christian generations guess as to how God is moving in culture and in turn, repeat old patterns as to what best will bridge the character of God and the beautiful hunger of humanity. Funny enough, old patterns tell us that there must be a “bridge” to fill in the gap between God and culture, yet the ignorance of the church has misunderstood the truth that there is no gap in the first place. God is moving through culture and a bridge is just an interruption to the movement. Our job is to figure out how to participate in it.

So what does participating in God’s movement mean? What does it look like to be a humble usher (a.k.a. “servant”) of what the Spirit is doing in us and around us? I don’t have answers, for the answers come in the processing, encountering, and tiring of the journey ahead.

But what I do know is that we need to take an honest look at our motives through the lens of uncensored, unashamed, uncanny, unchristianized observation. We need to engage our culture in whatever way that looks like for each of us, finding ourselves naked and vulnerable in the chaos of searching hearts and broken lives. Somehow, we need to explore the questions before we give the solutions and boldly face the solutions while we ask more questions. The details are in the journey.

Risk Out of Conflict

I'm beginning to understand that the difference between religion and reality is risk. It all boils down to risk.

Right now, God is rescuing me from religion and wooing me into an honest reality and opportunity to risk everything. I thank Him for this, even though it is strange, sort of hurts, and reveals me publicly in embarrassing ways. Even as I type this, I'm a man bombarded with questions, doubts, frustrations, resentment, and wounds of my past and thus, all of it is somehow a beautiful indication that I'm no longer a man stuck in the mud of safety, predictability, and fear (what I call religion). Or at least my tires are gaining some sort of traction and I'm slowly but undoubtedly working my way out of the mud and back into the deep forest where I can explore life, interact with its creation and know the Spirit in it all.

I don't think many people in the church (the global church) realize that they are dying in a life that could be resurrected. I know this because I've been one... a paled-skin, lifeless, aching patient of spiritual cancer. I've lived under the attack of church expectations (which, by the way, is driven by fear). I've listened to the critics tell me how to be and how to think and what to desire- whether or not I can be barefoot on stage or use curse words to express my feelings. I've been frozen in the walls of what you "can't do" rather than roam freely in the possibilities of what I am meant to be.

And I am not just a victim; I'm a perpetrator, too. I have judged my brothers and my sisters and told them how they should live, rather than why they should live and not just live, but live abundantly. I've been an architect of Sunday morning church services that are stale, predictable, uninspiring, unmoving- all of this because I'm lazy when I feel worthless. I've ignored many of the conversations with people around me because I only live life within my own pleasure and time and not the pleasure and time of others. And I've held in my honest and raw thoughts so I won't "offend" anyone.

All of this to say, I'm tired of living this way because at its deepest foundation, there is no life in it at all. I can't fathom that God calls us to a safe journey where we escape from interacting with our deepest questions, doubts and fears- where we just patch everything up, like the church has repeatedly done for years. It is no wonder that the church body is looked at as an accessory to the world and not as an opportunity to find life, healing, imagination, inspiration, innovation and relevancy.

The conflict of my heart collides in the intersection of my thoughts. At one end I feel like I need to give up, move on, be pissed off at the church, and ultimately resent its faults and failures. At the other end, I simply hear the voice say to me, “Be part of the change.” This is hard for me, as I have continually attempted to escape from persevering through the ugly into the beautiful. I’m guilty of striving to find the easy ways out, so I don’t have to feel pain and rejection. But I guess that the joy is in the journey rather than a quick arrival.

I hope that we who are citizens of the church refuse to just exist. A dead squirrel on the side of the road can exist. And so can a dead church. Let’s be bothered in conflict. Let’s be so bothered that we are more than aware that we must make the choice to risk everything in order to be the hurricane of love in our wounded cities OR… stay quietly hidden on a hill, isolated from society, building upon routines and tradition in order to reassure our egos and safe, predictable lives.