The reality of the big black forest is inevitable. There are some that thrive there. They love the unknown, the spontaneous surprises that greet them at every turn, and the opportunity to dangerously swing on the vines between the trees. They are what we would call Adventurists.
Others are, well, uneasy at best living in the big black forest. They will try their hardest to grow up fast, find the most accessible way out, and if need be, figure out a way to become King of the Jungle so as not to be harmed (control). Of course, there are many folks who live in both worlds... the world of adventure and the world of uneasiness. I most likely fall into that category.
The reality of the big black forest is just that... it's big and black (yes, I know the jokes that come with those two words, too. Moving on!). But the reality is surely inevitable... it's bigger than us and more complex than we can comprehend.
The concept of the big black forest can be whatever you make it, but for the context of the rest of this blog, let's refer to it as the Higher Being or what some may call, God.
As I continue to journey into the deeper levels of healing within my present journey, I'm perplexed by the fact that almost everything I thought I had figured out about God was and is just a bunch of assumptions laced with ego and survival (or fear). This is what I refer to as my theology. Basically, I summed up a mystical presence with words and theories and created an easy explanation of something that cannot easily be explained.
At a deeper level, most of our theological declarations that we refuse to let go of are just ways to protect ourselves from exploring the big black forest. We are uncomfortable with the unknown and will feel a vulnerability that could leave us open to transformation if we let our stubborn theories go. This is the very reason why I get scared by churches that will cling lifelessly to their bylaws, theological stances and denominations instead while resisting the question marks in the grey.
Now hear me out when I say this... there is nothing wrong with having theology, bylaws, denominations, and knowledge and understanding. They are good. Belief is necessary and you cannot deny what you have come to understand. Let me give you an example of this...
Over the past two years, I have come to understand who my wife is more and more by being in a marriage with her; by struggling together, by how we have impacted each other, and by hope in all things- especially the unknown (i.e. will we have kids?). But if I was to box her in with my assumptions based on the limited knowledge and experience I have had with her- essentially, making her predictable- I will never see the full glory of who she is and I will habitually defend myself on being impacted and inspired by her essence. Thus, the same can be true about our journey with God.
See, we must realize that the things we believe in are unfinished paintings and paintings are expressions of interpretations and experience. Paintings should always be accessible to change, adjustment, movement, and even whiteouts. This is the very definition of transformation and healing. We are not designed to rely on our beliefs, but rather on the Spirit inside of us and around us. If beliefs are not being formed out of a communion with the Spirit, then we truly have no real beliefs at all.
My incomplete painting shows me that the big black forest is never ending. We have been equipped with a head lamp for light and though its beam is limited, that's a good thing. Why? Because with limited vision, we get to experience the present moment with the loving spirit in us and with others around us. As this love transforms us, we realize that all we really need is the next step.
No comments:
Post a Comment